I am still working this out and it might come across incorrectly.
Every person who shared Me Too also has something else they'd rather you remember them for.
Every person who shared Me Too also woke up, went to work, went to school, pursued something that they are passionate about.
They want to be seen as a comedian, an artist, a musician, marathon runner, lawyer, doctor. They like movies, music, they have hobbies, favorite foods and day to day lives. What happened to them isn't their "story."
They are not telling you this because "it's their story."
Make no mistake, It is happened.
It's also painful and exhausting to repeat. Over and over. And we are asked to in order to make it stop. And to stop that for even one person, we will recount the worst moments of our life. But that's not our story.
It is important to understand that there is a lot of pain, and that you may be the direct cause of it in some cases and the indirect cause in others. If you are willing to admit that, thank you, this next part is for you. If not, go back and see how many people said Me Too. See how alarmingly frequently this impacts people you know.
We're not even close to the point where we can unpackage how that pain can sometimes make us be shitty people, and we cause damage while we reconcile damage. That's assuming you're not prone to any other kind of mental problem or disadvantage to further complicate your life and how you process things. People who have been through any kind of trauma, ongoing or temporary, can lash out. They can be the girlfriend who's overly possessive and simultaneously cold. They can be the bitchy girl who turned you down in a way that made you feel like shit in front of her friends. They can be your best friend who falls for bad boys. They can and they will hurt and they will not know why. Some get to a point of peace and find ways to come to terms with it. Some don't and neither will know which one they will be until much, much later.
But we're not at the point where we can talk about that openly. We can't change things for others until it changes for us. In my life, I have been threatened, stalked, pissed on, groped and assaulted. I am 28.
I am also fucking hilarious, this post not withstanding. That's what I want you to know about me. I could give a fuck if you know the rest.
I can be mean, vindictive, duplicitous, and petty and also very sweet (some have said), loyal, insightful, and supportive. I'm all these things because I'm a person. My story has nothing to do with every time someone was shitty to me and everything to do with where I'm going.
The reason why the Me Too thing matters is because we're people.
I know more than a few people who were turned off to the very word "feminism" because some humans would wield it as, "sit down, let me tell you why you suck."
I for sure was one of those people who hated it, but I've grown more accepting of the word, even if it's near impossible to separate it from how it's been considered.
We live in a country where we are as women, we may become best known for the worst thing that's ever happened to us, that the only outlets interested in us are interested in our worst memories and that is a bleak reality.
I don't want to be a feminist, but I don't think that's a role that most woman are aspiring to. It's a role that has emerged out of necessity. We don't want to be feminists, we want to eat yogurt and buy tiny cactuses. We want to write, go to work, and be known for our achievements, but we can't.
We have to be feminists because if we weren't, we would be subjugates.
A chunk of our time has to go to making sure that we don't lose access to medical care, or avoiding assault, and that chunk happens on top of going to work, chasing our dreams, and being people like everyone else.
You are not impervious to the influences of the culture or environment you live in, but you are able to hone your perspective and your reactions to it. I want to do more. I don't have it in me to keep contributing to a conversation about permissive abuse in our culture, but I know that conversation will keep happening so long as assault keeps happening.
That's why we get so pissy when people roll their eyes at the word feminism. The cruel irony of it is WE sort of don't want it either. the term exists because there is an imbalance we want to correct. All civil rights activists would have preferred to just have civil rights. All feminists would prefer to be able to control their body and live their lives.
Let us talk about something else. If there's a chance you can we can be thought of as equals, as writers, comedians, doctors, whatever, gender regardless, that would be rad, and our stories would change.
About A Blog
I'm a Denver Comedian, occasional cartoonist and person of interest to someone, probably. These articles are really too long.