What did you do yesterday?
What about the day before that? If it was your weekend, what did you do your last work day? If it was your workday, what did you do last weekend?
Recently, I realized I want to spend my life writing. I don't care if nobody sees it, I don't care if the jokes I tell are for a room full of chairs. There is nothing that makes me feel more alive and interested, and passionate than writing, and by proxy comedy.
I realized as a student with a job, that I spend the bulk of my time--6 days a week at the moment, (it's been as high as 7 and as low as...6) working on those two things. I'm a nursing student and I love science, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't give me the sense of fulfillment as writing does. I struggled with this because writing seems like an indulgent thing to want to do with your life. Here's the only reason why I don't think it is: I would rather write for you, whoever you are, the one person who drifts into that room of vacant chairs, the one friend who clicked on this link on Facebook through sheer, random boredom. And if anything I've ever said has been of some help in some form, that's the most amazing thing I could ask for.
My first kiss was the word 'Kooshter' in a Michael Ondaatje novel. In some errant crosswiring of hormones, whatever I was reading was so overwhelmingly beautiful that like the cliche 15 year old I was, I kissed it. When I was the peculiar teenager that I was, I drank in philosophy, often in hand-me-down copies from my brother who was a Literature major at the time. Every book offered me something new; even if I didn't agree with the opinion, it offered me an insight as to why someone would behave or think that way. It's been invaluable to me and I owe my life to those books. Words mean everything to me.
So what does this have to do with what you did yesterday? Well, I can tell you personally, that yesterday I still wrote, a couple of lines and nothing special, but I still scraped time in between everything else I do to sit down and write something.
And when I did, I realized that I didn't want to have to squirrel away the one thing I'm passionate about into whichever minutes I could spare; I want to run erratically out of rooms to write down ideas. I want to take the long route places simply so I can read on the way instead of worrying about the time I'm wasting. When I realized that, I wondered what an ideal day would look like.
Why is it important to know what an ideal day would look like? Because, I realized, like the impetuous person I am, that my concept of what happens in the future is incredibly vague. I'm in school because I know Future Kira would benefit greatly from my effort, although past Kira has a limited opinion, given she's preoccupied with things that can't really effect the future persons if we don't let them.
So, I've created my ideal day:
Walk the dog. Get Coffee and read. Make breakfast with Jordan. Go do (whatever the thing is, money, school). Leave that behind. Write in silence. Take the train home and read the whole way. Meet up with my friends. Do something new. Go on stage, try and make people laugh.
If this sounds very attainable, I agree. And you know what, I haven't done this yet. My days are jam packed with too many things and I tend to overwhelm myself, which traps me in this weird cycle of self-loathing and TV binging, broken only to allow aforementioned dog to pee.
So I've decided to change, only slightly. I'm going to try and live my ideal day every day for the next 30 days. I won't succeed, I'm aware of that, not in its entirety. But I want to see if maybe, trying to live my ideal life will allow me to feel like I am living my ideal life, and maybe not feel so insipidly despondent all the time. I'm going to attempt to journal this, because who am I kidding, this is a blog and I'm not cool enough to claim otherwise any more. All of those posts are going to be on top of this one in order to prevent me from inundating my own site with short thought poops about this experiment. Wish me luck.
So, lovey, what is your ideal day, and does it matter if you live it?
The Ideal Day | Week One
I have not, since I came up with this idea, successful had one of my ideal days.
But every day, I've tried. And every day has been a little better.
I've had a couple shows which have been a blast. I have been broke as shit. That's probably going to remain true for the rest of my life.
I'm a lot less stressed out, at least for the moment. It's easy to get overwhelmed when I peer into the big picture, I don't think I've got the capability to handle that yet. So far, I'm happier, and that's a plus..
About A Blog
I'm a Denver Comedian, occasional cartoonist and person of interest to someone, probably. These articles are really too long.