Spokane, WA —Doctors breathed a sigh of relief as newborn Amanda Dillard emerged from harrowing conditions during a hostage negotiation in St. Joseph's Maternity ward last Thursday. Dillard had been trapped inside of a pregnant woman, Wanda Dillard, for nine months.
Deliberations lasted for several hours, with heated exchanges on both sides. Before being convinced to go to the hospital, Wanda Dillard reportedly backed herself into a corner with a broken bottle of soy sauce threatening her husband, demanding, "Get this #$%*!ing monster out of me!", sources say.
"It's tough to say how she got in there, or survived for so long," Chief of Medicine Robert Galant told reporters. "We know where they come from, but if we miss the stork, sometimes they just wander into the strangest places."
"I just feel so lucky. Relieved," Ray Dillard, Amanda's father remarked. "She was really clawing her way out of there, she was really brave." Despite keeping baby Amanda hostage for almost a year, he does not intend to press charges against his wife. Dillard's mother could not be reached for comment.
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